The Illuminati Entertainment Division is a massive soundstage with dark red curtains and numbered doors. The ceiling seems vaulted to eternity. Between the gaps in the curtains, you glimpse some of the most iconic stage settings of modern psychological warfare. The Oval Office, with a resolute desk covered in stacks of papers about fake Mexican gangs. The apartment from Friends, a social conditioning experiment to normalize communal living in the face of decline. The American Idol stage, populated by animatronic audience members.
You pass the fake grassy knoll, where a suspiciously placed window looks out over the staged replica of Dealey Plaza. Nearby, in a similar but less elegant space, you spot a replica of an outdoor venue in Butler, Pennsylvania.
A sign ahead, above an oversized door, reads APOLLO. Beside it, on an ornate pedestal, is Stanley Kubrick’s 1969 Oscar for Best Visual Effects.
To your right, a door labeled FLAT EARTH YOUTUBE has a sign on it saying ‘Closed - filming in progress.’ To your left, a closed door says REPTILIAN BROADCAST GREEN ROOM. Come on in, the water’s just fine, and has a cool picture of a fat and happy iguana, floating in an inner tube on it. The iguana is wearing sunglasses and holding a drink with an umbrella sticking out.