You crack the cap off the Refreshing Fentanyl Guava Fluoride Blast and take a swig. It hits you with brisk summertime freshness. Your eyes dilate and suddenly, you see everything. The big picture: the fractal nature of the universe, the intricate conspiracy of the Pentagon and the metaphysical connection between burritos and the fabric of reality. It is all one.
Another sweet, juicy gulp from the bottle and something is different. The clarity and divine knowledge fade away. You’ve never worked a day in your life, but suddenly, the baby soft skin on your hands feels scaly. The fluoride and fentanyl combination is so delicious that you take another swig, but you can’t taste anything anymore. Your tongue is heavy in your mouth. You’re starving. Famished.
You don’t even want a burrito. You want to lay on a hot rock. You want to chew on insects.
You open the fridge, open a packet of reptile food optimized for healthy lizards, and eat the bugs.