WORLD PEACE

With only a second’s hesitation, you unwrap the burrito and gently hold it to the alien’s lips. They take a small, ginger bite, and almost instantly, their complexion begins to return. Their eyes brighten. They raise a hand to yours, taking the burrito from your grip.

You watch, incredulously, as they eat the entire thing in small, efficient nibbles, like a duck eating peas. Their frame is still small, but they’re starting to look low-key ripped. Their arms and shoulders begin bulging.

“Bruh, do you feel that?” they say, voice echoing with a new strength. “Packed with protein, calcium, and iron... bursting with polyphenols, antioxidants, and minerals. You only need tenough grain, just enough grain to complete the protein. Never enough to weigh you down. This is the essence of higher life, bruh. The masterpiece of earth’s abundance." They take another bite and their aura brightens in the fake Martian light.

“The high-protein, low-carb composition of the vegan mission-style burrito is what realigns our cosmic forms. It’s the ultimate expression of bioavailable life force.” They pause for a final bite, and you can’t help but stare at how absolutely shredded they’ve become.

They glance at you, a new look of respect in their enormous dark eyes. “My people were wrong about you, bruh. This planet was scheduled for demolition, but you’ve shown us the true meaning of being human. Listen, there’s a whole bunch of other burritos in the craft services room.”

From their selvedge denim crossbody pouch, they pull out a very expensive, designer USB dongle with a simple label: Burrito.

“And I want you to have this. The ultimate recipe. The dongle is limited edition. I’ma need it back. Feel free to make copies tho. We cool.”

You take it, feeling the weight of interstellar knowledge in your palm, and suddenly realize that this is why you were put on earth.

The secret ingredient to the perfect burrito was compassion all along.